hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
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im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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