Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being pregnant is like rehab
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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