i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
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I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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