i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
MIDGETS
????
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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