4 words: hood of his car
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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