I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
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He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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