Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
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With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
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Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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