Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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