i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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