I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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