Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize