oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
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It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
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I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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