I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize