Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
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if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
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I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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