we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
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Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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