I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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