Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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