he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
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Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
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Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize