I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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