my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
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Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
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yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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