she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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