Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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