I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
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Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
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I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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