haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
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Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
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So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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