I accidentally had phone sex last night
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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