Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
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It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
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I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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