At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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