I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize