I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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