Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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