I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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