she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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