batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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