i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
soo... how was my night?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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