got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Green mimosas i think yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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