I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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