I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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