i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
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By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
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its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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