Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize