I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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