what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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