Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
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