so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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