you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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