Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I just gift wrapped bread.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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