It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
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He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
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This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Everclear isn't food dammit
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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