On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
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