And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Randomize