I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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