think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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