Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Pants are for mortals
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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