her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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